That's all well and good, but right now fear is paralyzing me. I want to crawl under a rock and cry. You see, Thursday I'm getting on an airplane - by myself- and flying to Phoenix, AZ for a conference. Thousands of happy, rah rah women packed in a giant room. I won't be alone but I sure will feel alone. I'm bringing my running shoes in case I need to bolt.
It wouldn't be so bad if my husband were coming. It wouldn't be so bad if I was not concerned about my son's test results. It wouldn't be so bad if my daughter wasn't moving out next month. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have a birthday coming up. One of those, "wow you're old" ones.
You may say, "So don't go."
I have to.
"Why?", you ask.
Because it terrifies me, that's why.
If I sat here at my desk all day and didn't do the things that terrified me I would whither and die. I wouldn't be useful to God, my husband, or my family. I would never have traveled to S. Korea and climbed a mountain and a volcano. I would never have run a marathon or three. I would never have left a toxic marriage and found a man I love so much it hurts to be away from him for four days in Phoenix. I could go on, but right now, I'm trying to talk myself out of the fear the looms ahead.
So, I bake. I bake because it gives me something to do that doesn't take too much brain power. I bake because I need to take food with me when I travel because of my allergy. I bake because I can do it while listening to music at full blast. That relaxes me. (Oh, don't worry, I already did my run today. That was relaxing, too, even though it was 90 degrees and 100% humidity).
Here is what I baked today:
Whole wheat and oat bread. The recipe is on another post.
Zucchini and blueberry muffins:
1/2 cup olive oil
1/2 cup all natural applesauce
1 cup unprocessed, local honey
1 large zucchini, grated. (i put mine in the food processor)
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup blueberries, frozen(thawed) or fresh
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup Quaker oats, old fashioned, ground fine
3 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground cloves
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 cup chopped raw almonds
1 cup unsweetened flaked coconut
Preheat oven to 350F. Grease mini loaf pans or large muffin tins. Mix in order of recipe, wet then dry. Let sit for a few minutes. Bake for about 25-30 minutes. Don't over bake or they will dry out. Take out of tins quickly. The blueberries will stick if you wait too long.
Refrigerate when cool. These can be frozen, wrapped individually.
|Dairy-free and delicious|
|I ate this one. It was really good.|