Why the blog?

I write as the Spirit moves me. I have prayed about what I'm supposed to do with my life a lot. A lot. Writing. Writing is what I believe God is leading me to do. Whether or not He wants me to write for anyone to read is His business. Much of my writing has been therapy for me so maybe I'm the only one who is supposed to read it. So, why the Blog? As a sounding board, a note pad, a place to keep my ideas and thoughts. A place to share and promote my books, and photography. Written prayers, a place to vent. Possibly, even a place for the unknown reader to learn about the love of Jesus.

Friday, June 24, 2016

Rainbow Baby

Facing the past.    

Today I did something that I never want to do again, willingly, something I haven't done, willingly, in a very long time (if ever).  Hope I never have to again.

I went to a cemetery.  

On Facebook today, someone wrote, "Today is Rainbow Baby Day.  A “rainbow baby” is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death or infant loss. In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison." 

I'd never heard of it so I looked it up.  There is such a thing.  I didn't know. 

Of course, I quickly posted that my daughter and myself are both Rainbow Babies.   Then I thought for a minute, that's not quite true.  My son is a Rainbow Baby, too.  

Then, the memories came back.  The memories of the deaths, miscarriages.  The memories of the abortion.  The memories of the feelings that flooded me...when those events occurred.  And I wanted to do something to commemorate, remember.  I've never done it before.  Never.  I don't have a grave, or tombstone.  I'd fought so hard to forget, forgive.  You never forget.  

So, I decided to go find a cemetery, and remember.  I got a pink teddy bear and some fake flowers I had in a closet and I went to an old cemetery.  One way out in the woods.  I found some really old gravestones of children and I took some pictures of them.  On my way out, I found four headstones.  Unmarked.  Two together, and two next to them.  Four.  They were all babies.  

I swore I wasn't going to cry.  Fought the tears harder than the oppressed emotions.  It's in the past.  I've gotten over it.  But....I haven't.  So, I took a picture of those four gravestones without the teddy bear.  somehow it seemed right not to.  They had no visible names and I didn't want to add or subtract from the visual.  I wanted to remember it the way it was.  

I can't remember all the dates.  I kind of do, but I wish I had the actual dates.  Because, those were my babies.  Whether I wanted them or not at the time.  Some I did, some I didn't. They never were given names, either.  Whether I had emotions about them at the time...some I did, some I didn't.  They are still a part of me that need to be remembered and never forgotten.  It has taken me a long time to forgive myself.  I know God has and he has forgotten my sins.  

Now it seems wrong for me to forget.  Now I have pictures of headstones to prove I didn't.  


In Memory

In Memory

My heart aches

In Memory

In Memory

In Memory

Friday, June 3, 2016

Oops I did it again...

Today was long run day.  It's Florida and it's hot - 75 at 5:30 am to be exact.  I've got my camelback filled with water, fuel, and my trusty head lamp.  16 miles to do and hopefully do them as quickly as possible to beat the heat.  Ha!!  No such thing.  It's hot.  I keep telling myself, "It's okay.  Train in the heat, race in the cold."   Remind me I said that in August.  In any event, my next two marathons will be cold - Montreal and then New York in November.

Speaking of New York.  I'm running the New York Marathon under the fundraising umbrella of Team World Vision.  I have a goal of $5000.00 to raise.  This money will be going towards child protection in Africa and thus far I have raised $810.00.  

Fundraising isn't my thing.  So, why did I sign up for it?





I signed up to fundraise for these beautiful faces.  Read their stories here.   See the woman in the bottom picture?  She's gathering drinking water for her children (photo credit Scott Stauffacher).  Where did you get your water today?

So the oops.  I ran pretty slow and was drenched with sweat, including my socks.  I swung up my left foot to the countertop to check my toenails when I felt a sharp pain in my left 2nd toe as it clenched.  You remember I broke that toe over a year ago. Orthopedist told me it could take a year or more to completely heal.  Great... That hurt so bad!!  Praying it doesn't hinder my running.  If I'm in pain next run, Monday, I will remember these faces and remind myself that I have such a blessed life.  A little broken toe is nothing compared to the living conditions and the dangers these precious children, God's children, face every day.

Next time you are hot, sweaty, in a little pain (or a lot), remember these children.  Make a difference in their life by donating.  As little as $50 can provide water for one child for their lifetime.

Thank you for your support.



DO WHAT YOU CAN, NOT WHAT YOU CAN'T


None of you should be looking out for your own interests, but for the interests of others.
(
1 Corinthians 10:24)


Colleen Wait Edits

Colleen Wait Edits

About Me

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This YouTube channel was created to add video to my blog.  Read it here:  www.colleenwaitwrites.blogspot.com.  I write about my life, my books, my family, my cats and kids, and of course travel.