It is 9 a.m. on the morning of December 31, 2010. This has been a very busy year! My son graduated High School and Air Force BMT (boot camp) this year. My daughter got all A's in 9th grade and acquired a boyfriend and a learner's permit to drive. I went on my first mission trip. My job situation went from good to bad to worst to no job to new job. Two dogs died. I published 4 books. Best of all my wonderful husband has been a steady constant. My rock. I do not think I could have gotten through this year without him. No, I know I couldn't. I love him.
I've been contemplating...no that's not the right word...I've been talking to God a lot lately about the direction for my life. There are so many things I want to do. The things I want, are they what God wants? I pray often, God, you put these desires in me, you gave me these abilities, put them to use! I feel stuck behind a desk, chained to a paycheck. My heart is not in my job, the thing I do 40 hours a week to pay the bills. There is so much to do, so much that needs to be done, serving my God. I often feel like I'm being wasted. I would love to volunteer at Accept Pregnancy Center and Matthews Hope and so many other things, but my time is spoken for. I want to write more. I have a list of story ideas that I feel are trapped inside me, waiting to erupt onto the page. I, I, I.
My husband and I were involved in several Bible studies this year. The main idea that I gleaned was 'go where God is working and do that'. Often we pray, God what is your will for my life? What do you want me to do? The answer that keeps popping up is 'go where God is working and do that'. Yet, here I sit, frustrated because I know where God is working and I want to go and do that.
I pray that in 2011 my chains to my job will be broken and I can go and serve God where He is working.
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