I've had a lot of
near misses. No, I've not had serious injury, illness, cancer, been maimed or hospitalized for long periods of time. I applaud the heroes who have done so and do not in anyway diminish what these brave souls have been through. I'm talking about the miss is as good as a mile, should have, could have, what if, and only by the grace of God did I come out of that unscathed.
I believe God has been by my side my whole life, letting me get just close enough to the fire, just close enough. He always, for whatever reason, has pulled me back just in the nick of time. Why? Maybe to pass on my story, maybe to show me who He is. Maybe to give me something to write about. No, it's to show me His grace and mercy because on many occasions I didn't deserve to get pulled out.
Here is my list, in order, that I remember:
1. At age three I was riding on the back of my mother's bicycle. My right foot got caught in the spokes and cut my ankle right above the distal end of the fibula bone and the large vein. I can still remember, 45 years later, sitting on a sink counter with my foot in a pool of blood. What if we had not been right in front of a friends house? I remember the ER, the shots, and the stitches. I still have a scar.
2. When I was 15 I was stung under my right eye by a wasp. The ER doctor said never get stung again, could be allergic next time. (See next time)
3. The day before 9th grade I was riding my horse bare back and barefoot for the hundredth time. In the road. She slipped on a rock and fell. On me. I have a scar where a rock was embedded in my left foot. Did not hit my head. Did not get hit by a car.
4. The coat hanger abortion. Didn't do it. Went to an unknown doctor even knowing the horror stories. But at 16 who listens. I have birthed two babies by C-section. Because of that? Probably.
5. After bad split from boyfriend in #4 my mom thought I should get away. I went to New Braunsfuls with kids of friends of hers. I didn't know them. We went tubing on a hot summer's day. I got drunk, passed out, threw up, awoke sometime later on a guy's lap on his tube, still in the river. Why didn't I drown? I was dehydrated, sunburned, probably sun poisoned. Booze, water, sun,,, many don't live through that.
6,7, 8,9. Jail. Not me in it, getting someone out. Houston, NY, 33rd street. Not a safe place for a petite white girl in the middle of the night with cash in her pocket. I hear of murder and rape in these situations all the time. I come out with emotional scars and nightmares.
10. Traffic lights. On my way home one night on a rural road I take my foot off the gas at a green light. In a split second I think it's green, go", then a large white van blows through the red. It happened in two seconds. By the grace of God.
12. Out-patient hospital procedure. It was supposed to take an hour. I was supposed to wake up minutes later and go home. I couldn't wake up. When I did, I threw up and went back to sleep. That happened several times. About four hours later I finally woke up and was sent home. Over medicated? Reaction to the drugs? Don't know. Alive - yes.
13. Esophageal spasms. I didn't know that's what they were until I had tests. I would, and still occasionally do, spontaneously choke on saliva or liquids. Usually when I am home alone. Breathing stops, heart stops briefly, coughing and gagging follow to try to clear the passage. I'm thinking I'm going to pass out one day and die. I've learned to keep my phone nearby and how to keep calm. 14. The garage door spring broke and the door came crashing down seconds before walking under it.
There will probably be more near misses. God got my attention long ago so He has another purpose. I have a heightened sense of awareness, a laundry list of scenarios and how to live through each of them. I have stories to tell people about what not to do because you may not have God holding you back like I do. For example: don't drink, don't marry someone who does, don't have sex before marriage - purity is beautiful, no cohabitation with the opposite sex before marriage - a sure relationship killer, never bail someone out of jail immediately and never more than once, wear shoes (I still don't I admit), wear sunscreen, wear a life jacket, look before you sit, talk to people about your problems, trust your gut feeling and don't back down, stay calm around venomous creatures, pray - a lot, have faith, be prepared!!!
Be prepared. That covers a multitude from first aid to eternity. Eternity is the end point for the physical and forever for the spirit. Be prepared for that first and foremost. God is leading me down a winding, bumpy, beautiful path, now matter how long he decides it is. Let Him hold your hand like he has mine.
