Sanctuary

The following is an excerpt from "Sanctuary":

CH.  1

It is time.

Claire awoke with a shiver.

It is time.

Claire rubbed her eyes to erase the dream, then sleepily yawned and tried to go back to sleep.

It is time to go. Get up.

This time the voice was unmistakably clear. It was not a dream. The voice was calm, clear, and soothing.  Claire took a slow deep breath to calm her nerves then said aloud, to whom she wasn't sure, "Is it safe?"

Go.

Claire held her breath, listening intently for more. No more came.  It is time. Get up. Go. She repeated these instructions over and over in her head.  Could it really be? Was the voice who she thought it was or had she lost her mind?  Slowly, quietly, as if she made a sound she would miss the voice, Claire, young and alone, frightened but excited, lifted herself off her cot and gathered her belongings. She knew who the voice belonged to.

The room was dark, had been for nearly a week since her self-powered generator broke.   The batteries had given out just days after construction of the generator was completed. Claire chuckled to herself as she caressed the seat of the old bicycle frame, proud of her accomplishment.  Candles were not safe here, but there was a bag of them stowed away in a corner.   They were found along with a box of matches and put in her backpack.   Food and water had been rationed sparingly, and were running out fast.  Only a few days left.  Claire put all that she had in the backpack.   On the cot were her clothes.  She found what she needed and put them on, slowly one leg at a time,  feeling the unfamiliar, uncomfortable fabric against her skin.  Alone and in the dark, they had been unneeded and cumbersome, now they felt scratchy on her skin.  How long had it been since she had bathed, washed her clothes?  Weeks, months? Time had lost all meaning.  In the far corner of the rectangular room were two unused cots with their blankets neatly folded on top.  Claire rolled them up together and fastened them to her backpack.  New blankets for a new beginning, she thought.  Rain gear that had been stored in a locker were unpacked, then placed into the backpack.   The pack was beginning to get heavy. 

Claire scoured the small room with her eyes, long-adjusted to the dark, remembering the day she first arrived, not wanting to remember.  She pushed those horrifying thoughts out as she looked from box to chair, to shelf to ventilation duct, to waste disposal cabinet thinking of what else she should bring, what to leave behind.  She saw what she needed on a top shelf. Thrown there in anger, but not forgotten.  Delicately fingering the leather she prayed, "Please forgive my anger, God, I know it is you who have kept me safe and you who now tells me to go."  Claire pressed the Bible cover close to her heart and wept.  The pages had long been destroyed.  "Protect me Lord. I am afraid."

The quiet girl with the sad eyes and aching heart, who had dreamed of and dreaded this day, wiped her tears, turned, and stared hard at the stairs that led to the outside world.  What lay ahead she did not know, what was must be left in the deepest part of her memory. Not forgotten, just put in a safe place as to not haunt her future.

Ten steps forward and twenty-five, straight up.  Seems easy enough, but Claire thought she lacked the courage to take the first step. NOW.  The voice was urgent, demanding.  "Okay, God", she said, "I'm going". Thoughts ran through her mind. What would she find?  It must be okay, God said to go.  He wouldn't be so insistent if it were unsafe. Would he?  Would she be among friends? Who, what would she find? There, she made the first step. Left, right, left, right. Slowly, painfully, heart beating faster and faster. Claire closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then another, hand trembling, she found the valve.

The bunker door was 25 steps up a metal ladder, but the mechanism to open it was right in front of her.  "Please God, help me remember how to open the door."   The valve in her hand was a lock.  She didn't remember why the valve was to be turned first, she just knew it was. Hoped it was.  It felt rusty.  Would it break if she turned the wrong way?  Would it break if she turned the right way?  Deep breath, which way to turn it? Claire wiped her sweaty palms on her pants, gripped the valve with her right hand and pushed down, to the right as hard as she could.  Click. The valve opened. "Whew!"  she let out a deep sigh of relief.

Next to the valve was a large steel wheel about 20 inches across. It sat higher up on the wall, its center about level with her forehead.  It, too, felt rusty at the joint where it connected to the bunker wall.  Claire gripped it with both hands, one on each side.  Which way?  Lefty loosey, right tight or to the right just like the first one?   First she gently nudged right.  Nothing.   Nudged left.  Nothing.  Claire stood and stared at the wheel, gripping so hard her hands began to hurt. Which way? Lefty loosey.  That has to be it.  She attempted to turn the wheel.  It didn't budge. "Oh God, help.  Am I tightening it instead?"  She took a deep breath and tried harder. To her amazement and much relief it moved.  An inch.   A drop of sweat dripped into her eye.  Not wanting to let go, she rubbed her eye with her shoulder.   Slowly, Claire slid her right hand over to her left while turning to the side of the wheel.  "Here goes nothing," she muttered then slid both hands as high up as she could so as to hang from the wheel. Suddenly she dropped all her weight and lifted her feet.   The wheel gave a creaky groan, turned, and Claire fell to the floor, hands still gripping the wheel.

It had turned!! Claire sprang up and tried the same technique again. The wheel turned again.  After one more attempt, Claire sat breathlessly on the floor.  Panting, she closed her eyes tightly to try to determine if the door had opened enough for her to escape.  Any light that came in could blind her, so she covered her eyes with her hands. A drop of sweat dripped onto her arm. Then another, and another. Claire stiffened and listened and felt. Raindrops? Those were not sweat drops because she felt one, two, three drops of water on her head.  Her senses were screaming for more.  She could hear faint sounds of dripping onto the metal bars and just a whisper of wind.

Sanctuary

Man in the Mirror

The following is an excerpt from my 6th book, "Man in the Mirror". 

Chapter 1

A familiar sound broke through the silence of a dream.  They were at it again.  Did it ever stop?  A high-pitched wail was followed by and then intermingled with a booming bass.  The down comforter was pressed hard against ears not wanting to hear.  Muffled yet ever familiar sounds crept in and threatened to ruin the day. The sounds were more intense than yesterday, more demanding than the time before that.  Words could not be heard.  They weren’t necessary.  They were absolutely unwanted.  The tone and inflection were more than enough. A soft down pillow was placed over the comforter to bar the sounds even further to no avail.  Sounds of a familiar song suddenly burst forth overriding the irritating sound.

“Thank God for the alarm clock,” Celeste said, grumpy and relieved, as she rolled out of bed, turning up the volume on her way to the shower.

The day had begun exactly like it had ended with Celeste’s parents arguing.  All had been peaceful while her father had been away on a business trip.  The house had been silent and still.  There had been no yelling, no talking at all really.  Celeste went to school, hung out with her friends and came home.  Dinner was delivered at exactly 6 p.m. where it was eaten in silence with only the occasional question or comment from mother to daughter.  Same thing every day. Boring, predictable, but quiet.  Now this.

Celeste, looked at herself in the mirror.  She looked tired. Average. Boring.  She thought everything about her appearance was average. Medium brown hair, stick straight and just below her shoulders.  Brown eyes, nothing unique there.  Average face. Not ugly, but not beautiful either.  She was thin, mainly because she didn’t eat much.  Very little food was kept in the house.  Dinner was always delivered from a list of restaurants, breakfast usually brought in by the housekeeper.  Her teeth were perfectly straight thanks to the overpriced orthodontist.  Turning sideways to look at her nose, Celeste remembered her mother stating she could get it fixed after High School. That was hurtful.  There was nothing wrong with it that she could see except the tiny bump in the middle that could only be seen on very close inspection. Even her chest was average. B cup. Several girls in her class had already had plastic surgery because they didn’t want to be average. Celeste’s mother had undergone several breast enlargements.  The last was an anniversary present from her father and it was insinuated by her mother that she could have one whenever she wanted.

With a shrug and a shake of her head, as if to get rid of memories that the image evoked, Celeste quickly showered and got dressed in her usual school uniform of blue jean shorts, T-shirt and flip flops.  As an afterthought, she returned to the bathroom vanity to quickly apply mascara and lip-gloss.  With one last glance in the mirror, Celeste took a deep breath, slung her backpack over her shoulder and headed out the door.

“Why do you have to go again?” Celeste heard her mother bemoan as she ran down the stairs.

“It’s business. It’s what I do.  I work for a living,” she heard her father reply in an angry sarcastic tone.

“But you just got home last night.  One week at home and two on the road is no life.  We never see each other.  When you are here you are locked in your office or on the golf course.”

“Someone has to pay the bills! If you didn’t spend all your time shopping maybe I wouldn’t have to work so hard.”

“So I’ll get a job and then you won’t have to travel all the time.”

“Yeah, that’ll be the day. You haven’t worked since High School.  No wife of mine is going to work at the mall.”

“Um,” Celeste poked her head into the kitchen timidly, “I’m going to school.”

“Wait, I’ll take you,” Celeste’s mother said as she ran her fingers through her hair trying to straighten it up.  She pulled her pink silk bathrobe tight at the waist.  “I’ll just be a second. Let me get dressed.”

“No, that’s okay. I’ve got a ride.” Celeste looked over at her father who was staring at his laptop with a scowl on his face.  “Maybe I can drive myself?”

“No,” he stated adamantly.

Celeste shook her head and grumbled, “Whatever,” as she turned and ran out the front door.

Man in the Mirror

Go into al the world.... part 2

This entry is the second installment with the theme of: "Godly people I know who live Mark 16:15-16 and Matthew 28:19-20." Loretta Parrish is, in my opinion, the person who most exemplifies these verses.  I have had the great pleasure of knowing Loretta for 15 years. Her life story is quite amazing. I do not have the time or space to tell it properly, therefore, I am only giving a snippet of her heart:

1) Loretta, who do you say Jesus is?

Jesus is the Creator God, who chose to humble himself to become a flesh and blood man born to one of the women of His creation.  He came to be the savior and redeemer of the lost children of every age - for those who choose to trust in him and obey.  God is one God with three persons, Father, Son (word) and Holy Spirit.

2) When did you first believe this and what did you do about it?

I first believed at the age of eleven and made the choice to follow him.  I was baptized and began teaching a Sunday School class almost immediately.  A few years later, I became very hurt and angry with my Lord because I thought he had been unjust and harsh toward me.  It took about six years of  struggling with my pride and resentment, with my conscience fighting for  my repentance.  Finally, I prayed and told God that I was sorry and just wanted to come home but did not know how.  He lovingly led me back and has helped me develop and very close and personal relationship, including giving me understanding of the hurt and anger of my youth.

3) What have you done in the past to "Tell the World"?

Three of my strongest gifts of the Holy Spirit are sheparding, teaching and discernment.  Before I knew these were gifts given me to glorify God and to equip the body of Christ, I knew they were part of my being.  I was always drawn to teaching, counseling and reaching out to people.  My husband used to say I had a mark on the forehead that attracted those people who needed me.  I worked with many women struggling with marriage, parenting and many who were returning to the workforce.  I also volunteered with a pregnancy counseling center and women in abusive relationships.  I owned and operated an adolescent substance abuse treatment center for many years.  We did not just treat the teens but also their parents and siblings.  The treatment model was adapted to the teachings of the Bible.  Every client was given their own Bible and we had weekly classes they could request to attend.  It was amazing to see the changes when God was invited in to help with recovery.  Over the years, I have been invited to speak at various women's events, both in the church and in the secular world.

4) What would you like to do in the future?

My prayer to God is that He will take me home the day after I am useful in the Kingdom.  So, the answer would be more of the same.  I seek to keep myself aware of the leading of the Spirit and to respond immediately.  Whatever God wants me to do, I want to do.  It is important to me to walk the walk that I teach others.  I also seek to empower those I teach to develop their own close, personal relationship with our Lord and to also listen to His voice.

5) Who inspires you?

Besides Jesus, my inspiration has been King David and the apostle Paul.  I devour their writings to direct my thinking, and try to learn from their mistakes.  As for people on earth, my parents and grandmothers definitely set the role model of  seeking God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.  I watched them individually study the Bible daily, worship in spirit and in truth, and serve others as if it were Christ himself.  Anyone who empties self and lets the love of God fill their hearts to serve others will always inspire me.  I have known many of these humble servants over the years.

6) You have lived through many trials.  What helps you to keep your eyes on Jesus? What do you do when you feel in despair? 

The Word.  I learned from my period of hurt and rebellion that nothing in the physical world (no matter how bad, how hard, how painful or how humiliating) gives evidence of God's love for me.  He loves me because He said He does - He is the unchangeable God.  All things work together for my good because He said they would if I love him and am called according to the promise.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  He is greater than every thing of the created world because he created that world.  What I do when my flesh feels despair?  I pray and tell him everything, including my anger, fear and evil thoughts.  I read scriptures that help the situation.  Finally, I simply obey and ask him to forgive them - and then ask that he help me mean it.  For instance, there are some things that are almost impossible to forgive and forget.  But, we are told that if we seek we will find; if we ask we will receive; and, if we knock he will answer.  So the bottom line is:  Trust and Obey - He does the rest.

7) What are you passionate about?

Jesus Christ died so that we can have life eternal and be restored to the Father.  Therefore, I am passionate about seeking to know Him so intimately and personally that the power of my flesh fades into oblivion.  I am passionate about teaching others, helping others and seeking the lost children.

8) I often refer to you as my moral compass.  You have also been my 2nd mother, mentor, teacher, and friend.  Many people feel the same way. Why do you think this is and how do you feel about it?

When the Spirit equipped me for service in the body, this became the greatest joy I could ever know.  You are my heart and my blessing, as are all the other young women and some men that God has brought into my life.  I feel humbled but very joyful and filled with love.  A previous question referred to how hard my life has been on many fronts, and it truly has been hard.  But all of the women, men, teens and children that are brought into my life heals every wound because the things I learned in the hard times are what all of you need.  So, they just prepared me to love people.

9) What would you like to say to the readers from around the globe who do not know Jesus?

Look around at all the things created by Jesus - heavens, earth, fish, animals, birds, trees, green things, the wind, the waves.  He created them in perfection but our selfish and self-willed sins have brought the defects.  Jesus was God and came to live on earth in human flesh.  Because he chose to perfectly trust and obey the Father even to death, he redeemed us from the death and decay of sin.  The Good News is that he conquered the grave and with that act give us the ability to conquer the grave and have eternal life.  He then gave us a gift - He sent the Holy Spirit to dwell in the heart, mind and soul of the redeemed.  The Spirit can do everything we cannot if we give up self will and trust and obey.  The Spirit will give us love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  He will teach us, correct us, lead us and comfort us.  What does the world offer that is greater than that?

10) In closing, is there anything you would like to add?

The greatest commandment is:  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.  The second greatest commandment is:  Love your neighbor as your self.  

Everything in the Law of Moses and spoken by the prophets were based on those two commandments.  When we leave this earth and join our Lord in heaven, these two commandments will define how we will live.  There is no law or requirement by God that cannot be met by obeying those two commands.  These are not suggestions.  They are commands.  Let us trust and obey.

*** Loretta, I am honored to be able to call you friend and sister in Christ. ***

Springtime

 LORD, our Lord,  how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory in the heavens. 
Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.
When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars, 

which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, 
human beings that you care for them?
You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor. You made them rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet: all flocks and herds, and the animals of the wild,  the birds in the sky, and the fish in the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas.

 LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! (Psalm 8)

“But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. Does not the ear test words as the tongue tastes food? (Job 12: 7-11)

"But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?"  Mark 8: 29