The Homeless Interviews #16

This is the 16th post in my series on the homeless.  If this is the first time you've visit this site or the first time since I began the series, I urge you to start way back at the first interview.  I had planned on running the series only for the month of July, however, it's taken much longer. After all, I do have 12+ hours of taped interviews!  Today's interview is with "Gayle", a 45-year-old, fairly simple-mined woman who was shy, quiet, and spoke mostly in "we".  She didn't like to elaborate and I felt like she was trying to make light of the situation. Let's observe "Gayle":

**** Tell me about your childhood.

I don't know much about my family.  I was born from Texas.  I was adopted but I don't know my original parents.  I have no idea where they are.  I don't remember my adoptive parents.  It's been so many years. We bounced around from foster homes, group homes. It just didn't work out, unfortunately.

*** So you grew up in foster care?

Yeah, mostly in foster care.  I was abused as a child, physically and emotionally.  By my mother.  That's one memory I wish I could get rid of. My childhood wasn't really a childhood. 

** Did you go to school?

Yeah I went to school to 10th grade.  I'm working on my GED.  I may be older but I can do it.  I have worked for  couple of years. I was laid off this job.  I was on unemployment but it ran out.  Laundry.  I worked in sortin, working with hospital stuff.  My brother was my supervisor. 

*** How did you learn about the shelter?

We learned about it through the Hope team.  They helped us out. We found out through another camp, through some other people.  I was surprised. I didn't think there was anybody who cared about us homeless people like that.

*** Tell me about where you live. 

We live way down, not to far from here. 

** How did you come to Florida from Texas?

My sister was down here. I came to visit and I ended up staying down here.  (she lived with her sister for a while)  she moved back to Maryland.  We don't see eye to eye.  Not at all.

*** How long have you been homeless?

8-9 months.  Its Not too bad.  All of us we were working.  We all lost our jobs.  We were on unemployment.  Once unemployment ran out we couldn't pay our rent. We ended unbecoming homeless. That's exactly what happened.  (she talks about we as her brother who is not a blood relative, a self-titled family unit.  They all became homeless at the same time. She has no other family that I can elicit from her. Calls the other woman her mom).

*** Any plans for the future?

Get out of the situation we are in.  Get new jobs. Probably get a nice apartment or a trailer that is reasonable.  That's what we are looking for.  Get out of this bad situation as soon as we can.  It's rough living out here. It is not easy.  You gotta get water every day    Gotta a take a shower.  We got a little sun shower but you got to put it in the sun to heat the water up.  It works.  But it's inconvenient.  It's not bad. 

*** Did you ever think you'd be in this situation?

No. I never thought about it.  I never thought it would happen.  The way everything is going up now with gas prices going up and everything it's just getting harder.  I just think positive.  I do puzzles, word searches, read.  Try to help out.  I do what I can to keep preoccupied.  

*** Tell me about a typical day.

Every morning we get up and we will get ready to go out and look for work. We get up and make our beds and get dressed and everything.  Get everything together, our IDs and wallets. We get out the door and get out there and hit the streets to see what we can find. 

*** When you leave do you take all of your things with you?

No.  It’s safer where its at.  Nobody bothers our stuff or nothin’ which is nice.  When we come back we get everything together for the night.  Make dinner and stuff. 

*** What do you do for food?

We got food stamps. We have a little cooking stove and we take turns heating different things up. It’s not bad.  We are not going hungry or anything like that. 

*** As a woman do you feel safe?

Yes I do.  I feel comfortable.  (she has her companions, one of whom is a man). 

*** Do you have children?

No. 

*** Who’s fault is your situation?

I’m not sure.  You got me stumped.  I don’t know how to answer that one.

*** Do you see a lot of drug abuse, mental problems of other homeless people.

No, I don’t.  I only know us and one other couple.  That’s it. We are secluded.  There are only 5 us in one camp.

*** Do any of you drink?

No. Not at all  I don’t. I quit when I was 17.  It’s not worth going to jail or getting in trouble for. 

*** Do you see your self getting out of this situation soon?

No, not too soon.  But hopefully pretty soon but not right away.  It’s not too bad.  We’re hopeful.I’m hopeful.  I think things will work out.  God hasn’t forgotten us.  He has not forsaken us.  He’s going to pull us through this.  The way I see it, it’s a big ‘ol test he’s putting us through right now.  And that’s all we can do is go through the test.

*** Are you angry at all?

No.


(I left this interview frustrated.  I wanted to know more of her story, however, by the end I learned I wasn't going to get it either because she didn't want to talk, or she wasn't able to articulate any more than she had.  One or two more interviews and then a conclusion, I hope.)

Matthew 5: 3-10
³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit, 
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn, 
   for they will be comforted. 
⁵ Blessed are the meek, 
   for they will inherit the earth. 
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 
   for they will be filled. 
⁷ Blessed are the merciful, 
   for they will be shown mercy. 
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart, 
   for they will see God. 
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers, 
   for they will be called children of God. 
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, 
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

The Homeless Interviews #11

Today's post is a continuation of Debi's interview:


*** Do you have a job now?
No.  I lost my job 6 months ago.  I was housecleaning.  They had to let some people go and I was one of the ones let go.  


*** Do you have goals?  Things you would like to do?
Right now I'm just trying to get a better education, learn how to read better.  My reading is only a 5th grade level and get my math.  I have to get my math up really.  


*** So you need help to learn to read.
Yes.


*** My next question is looking back what would you do differently? 
I probably would've stayed in school.  It probably would have made things more easier for me.  They have programs in the shelter to help you get a GED for free.  They have like this on-line programs to have college on line, to help you out with school and stuff like that.  I just found that out yesterday.  So I'm looking onto that.  


*** Tell me about a typical day in the life of you.
Um....Basically trying to look for work. Try to keep and find a place to sleep.  They don't allow you to sleep out in the streets.  Abandoned houses sometimes, go behind buildings and hope the cops don't come by.  The hardest thing to do in the streets is stay asleep because they have programs to feed you but its just finding somewhere to rest and wash up and stuff like that.  That's the hardest thing to do out here.


*** Do you have a group of people that you know that you can be with?
The key to being homeless, don't hang out with a group.  That's it.  If a group do something then you are going down with them. If somebody in your group is wanted, just by being associated with them you are going to jail.  Guilty by association.  It's kinda like hard because being a female out here being by yourself you gotta worry that somebody might attack you.  You think that by being in a group it would be safe because you are a female but you find out that is worse.  So you just gotta pray to God that nothing happens to you.  And have faith and stick to yourself.  There is a lot of people out there.  There is not just a category of people that is homeless.  A lot of people think, you been in jail is the homeless.  There are all types of homeless people. A lot of reasons why people are homeless.  Not just one reason.  You got people who families got kicked out of their house, or loss of jobs, or people on drugs. You know there are so many reasons out there.  The cops if you are homeless are not your friends.   They feel like if you are not paying taxes or live in a special neighborhood then they do not like have to protect you, you are not part of a community.  So, they, you are going to find some cops out there that are butt-holes.  I'm not saying I hate the police, that's not what I'm saying. But you got some of them out there that will harass you just because you are homeless.  


(Debi tells me a story where a man attacked her and she went to the police.  She says the policeman was very helpful until she told him she was homeless and then she says she was taken to the station and given a big 'runaround'.  She also tells of instances where she was on the city bus with a backpack on and the bus driver called the police and instances of being treated differently in stores just because she was carrying a backpack.) 


It messes with you (mentally) but you have to be strong. Keep the faith and try to get off the streets.  It's not a joke out there.  It is not a game.   (She tells of seeing homeless women and children being kidnapped for drug-trafficking.) I've seen it.  I've been lucky enough to recognize the signs.  (to not get approached)


*** Do you see a lot of women who are homeless turn to prostitution?
Yes.  A lot.  Especially the ones on drugs. A lot.  


*** Do you consider your situation your fault, society's fault, do you lay blame somewhere?
When I was younger I used to blame the world.  But as I got older I got wiser.  Spiritually, it is the devil's fault.  So, no.  I mean, yes, the devil, not the world.  


*** Do you have any plans, things you want to accomplish?
Yes, after I learn how to read better, get a little more knowledge I want to be a message therapist.  Something that's not so mentally challenging. When it comes to books I'm not that strong.   Get an education.  Take it one day a time.  


*** Is there anything you would like to add?  Anything you would like people to know?
Not all homeless people are bad.  Not all people are homeless because they did something wrong.  Raise your kids right.  Foster kids, a lot of people are homeless because they were not raised right or was not taught right.  They was not taught values.  America has gotten away from their values.  They took Bibles, took Christianity out of school which is why America is falling now.  So raise your kids right. Right now you got kids raising kids. That's not knowledge.  The Bible tells you knowledge is power.  Without knowledge you have no power. So raise your kids right and you don't have to be afraid of homelessness or homeless people.  Or you don't have to be afraid of the government.  It starts in the womb.    God is the answer. 




(A lot of wisdom from a "homeless" person, don't you think?) 

The Homeless Interviews #8

Think homelessness is something that happens to bad people? Abusers? Poor people? Could never happen to you because you have a steady income, an education, money in the bank? Stop and think for a minute. If you lost your income today, how long could you live on what you have in the bank? Where would you go? Who do you have for help? Could you simply get a job tomorrow and pick up where you left off? 

My next interview hit home hard.  "Carl" is a big man, over 6 feet tall with a deep voice and very sad eyes. I could tell he was hurting the first time we met just by looking at his face. He was dressed in clean jeans, work boots and a clean plaid shirt. He was unshaven, but not your "typical" homeless person.  His story knocked the reality square in my face. 

***Carl, tell me about your childhood.

I was born in XXX, Florida.  Grew up in XXX, Florida.  All my life.  My parents were chicken farmers. Not ordinary chicken farmers. I mean, we had like 150,000 at a time. And that’s were I grew up at.

***What were your parents like?

They were okay, strict but good. My dad was a good father, he was an education freak and but all in all it... I had a good childhood. I went to xxx Elementary, xxx Middle School, and xxx High School.  I graduated there.  I went to University of Florida.  I received a Master’s degree in Civil Engineering.  I am a licensed civil engineer now.  I am also a licensed contractor.  I probably won’t go any further than that.  I am 50.  I thought at one time, back you know, back when the living was good about maybe trying to do a PHD. I could teach with a Master’s but I this thing that happened to me, honestly, it really knocked the wind out of me. 

*** Tell me what happened?

I owned a company.  We did all commercial work.  Worked over the whole state of FL.  In 2008 when the economy headed down I had three major developers file bankruptcy on me.  It cost my company about 4.5 million dollars to get out of it.  Whenever I did that and it was that kind of a blow and we were in an economy that I could not gain work to recover because there was no work and we were also in a situation with the bank where they had closed the door to small business people. They did not want to talk about it.  It started a downward spiral there in 2008.  I tried to hang on.  I cut my crews back.  I was working 15-18 hours a day, 7 days a week. I did it until it liked to kill me.  I was working all those hours and worrying and trying to hold on to keep the door open.  In 2009 I was sitting in my office and I thought I had heartburn.  I went to the doctor.  The doctor rushed me to the ER, and when I was in the ER I had a massive heart attack.  I was in a coma for 36 days.  While I was in the coma they opened it up and did 6 bypasses.  When I woke up out of the coma, it was a Monday morning.  On Wednesday I had one of my employees pick me up in a truck and I went back to work and I tried to hold on.  I was doing everything I could to hold on and it was about to kill me.  It just kept going down and down and like I said before we were just in an economy where you just could not recovery.  And so I had 3 homes.  I lost them. I had a business.  I lost it.  Vehicles.  I had 26 trucks.  I lost them.  I lost EVERYTHING I had.  I lost everything I had.  It just cost me everything I could scrape to get out.  I had a 25k$ retainer attorney and the only thing they could tell me was these people are protected under federal law.  You cannot even ask for your money.  It is gone.  There is no getting it back.  Normally the bank will back you up.  Normally, you pick up jobs and you slowly recover.  From 2008 to now the banks do not want to hear from you if you are a small business and there is no work out there.  So, there is no recovery right now.  Or- there is recovery but not that kind.  So, I lost everything I had.  I lost it down to everything.  I lost everything.  When I got through, I was walking the street in Jacksonville. I had 40$ in my pocket.  I was by the bus station.  I got a ticket to Orlando.  Got off at the bus station (in Orlando).  Walked down the road at XXX( a really bad part of town) and I walked down the road and I was thinking oh my God if this is Orlando they need to shut Orlando down.  I was in a bad neighborhood.  I stayed on (that road) for 4 days underneath the overpass in the bushes with the crack heads.

I have a wife and a 4-year-old little boy.  Whenever the Lexus went and the unlimited credit cards went, she went with them.  So on top of everything else, now I’m heartbroken.    I never drank. I’ve never done drugs.  I’ve only been smoking for about 3 weeks.  I’m trying to get used to it.  You know, I stayed on (that road) for them days.  You kind of had to try to maybe sleep in a restaurant during the day because at night out there...  People do not realize it but when you lay down in the bushes at night you have to stay awake because the rats get on you.  So, I did that for 4 days and I finally got to the point where I said, well, what I am going to do is, I am going to go across here, I got about 5$ in my pocket.  I am going to go across to this auto parts store, and I am going to get me a gallon of antifreeze and I am going to sit out in the bushes tonight and I am going to drink it.   

*** more with Carl next post.


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