The Homeless Interviews #16

This is the 16th post in my series on the homeless.  If this is the first time you've visit this site or the first time since I began the series, I urge you to start way back at the first interview.  I had planned on running the series only for the month of July, however, it's taken much longer. After all, I do have 12+ hours of taped interviews!  Today's interview is with "Gayle", a 45-year-old, fairly simple-mined woman who was shy, quiet, and spoke mostly in "we".  She didn't like to elaborate and I felt like she was trying to make light of the situation. Let's observe "Gayle":

**** Tell me about your childhood.

I don't know much about my family.  I was born from Texas.  I was adopted but I don't know my original parents.  I have no idea where they are.  I don't remember my adoptive parents.  It's been so many years. We bounced around from foster homes, group homes. It just didn't work out, unfortunately.

*** So you grew up in foster care?

Yeah, mostly in foster care.  I was abused as a child, physically and emotionally.  By my mother.  That's one memory I wish I could get rid of. My childhood wasn't really a childhood. 

** Did you go to school?

Yeah I went to school to 10th grade.  I'm working on my GED.  I may be older but I can do it.  I have worked for  couple of years. I was laid off this job.  I was on unemployment but it ran out.  Laundry.  I worked in sortin, working with hospital stuff.  My brother was my supervisor. 

*** How did you learn about the shelter?

We learned about it through the Hope team.  They helped us out. We found out through another camp, through some other people.  I was surprised. I didn't think there was anybody who cared about us homeless people like that.

*** Tell me about where you live. 

We live way down, not to far from here. 

** How did you come to Florida from Texas?

My sister was down here. I came to visit and I ended up staying down here.  (she lived with her sister for a while)  she moved back to Maryland.  We don't see eye to eye.  Not at all.

*** How long have you been homeless?

8-9 months.  Its Not too bad.  All of us we were working.  We all lost our jobs.  We were on unemployment.  Once unemployment ran out we couldn't pay our rent. We ended unbecoming homeless. That's exactly what happened.  (she talks about we as her brother who is not a blood relative, a self-titled family unit.  They all became homeless at the same time. She has no other family that I can elicit from her. Calls the other woman her mom).

*** Any plans for the future?

Get out of the situation we are in.  Get new jobs. Probably get a nice apartment or a trailer that is reasonable.  That's what we are looking for.  Get out of this bad situation as soon as we can.  It's rough living out here. It is not easy.  You gotta get water every day    Gotta a take a shower.  We got a little sun shower but you got to put it in the sun to heat the water up.  It works.  But it's inconvenient.  It's not bad. 

*** Did you ever think you'd be in this situation?

No. I never thought about it.  I never thought it would happen.  The way everything is going up now with gas prices going up and everything it's just getting harder.  I just think positive.  I do puzzles, word searches, read.  Try to help out.  I do what I can to keep preoccupied.  

*** Tell me about a typical day.

Every morning we get up and we will get ready to go out and look for work. We get up and make our beds and get dressed and everything.  Get everything together, our IDs and wallets. We get out the door and get out there and hit the streets to see what we can find. 

*** When you leave do you take all of your things with you?

No.  It’s safer where its at.  Nobody bothers our stuff or nothin’ which is nice.  When we come back we get everything together for the night.  Make dinner and stuff. 

*** What do you do for food?

We got food stamps. We have a little cooking stove and we take turns heating different things up. It’s not bad.  We are not going hungry or anything like that. 

*** As a woman do you feel safe?

Yes I do.  I feel comfortable.  (she has her companions, one of whom is a man). 

*** Do you have children?

No. 

*** Who’s fault is your situation?

I’m not sure.  You got me stumped.  I don’t know how to answer that one.

*** Do you see a lot of drug abuse, mental problems of other homeless people.

No, I don’t.  I only know us and one other couple.  That’s it. We are secluded.  There are only 5 us in one camp.

*** Do any of you drink?

No. Not at all  I don’t. I quit when I was 17.  It’s not worth going to jail or getting in trouble for. 

*** Do you see your self getting out of this situation soon?

No, not too soon.  But hopefully pretty soon but not right away.  It’s not too bad.  We’re hopeful.I’m hopeful.  I think things will work out.  God hasn’t forgotten us.  He has not forsaken us.  He’s going to pull us through this.  The way I see it, it’s a big ‘ol test he’s putting us through right now.  And that’s all we can do is go through the test.

*** Are you angry at all?

No.


(I left this interview frustrated.  I wanted to know more of her story, however, by the end I learned I wasn't going to get it either because she didn't want to talk, or she wasn't able to articulate any more than she had.  One or two more interviews and then a conclusion, I hope.)

Matthew 5: 3-10
³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit, 
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn, 
   for they will be comforted. 
⁵ Blessed are the meek, 
   for they will inherit the earth. 
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 
   for they will be filled. 
⁷ Blessed are the merciful, 
   for they will be shown mercy. 
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart, 
   for they will see God. 
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers, 
   for they will be called children of God. 
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, 
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

The Homeless Interviews #5

This next interview is with a man I will call Bob.  Bob is a small man, about 5'4", maybe 120 pounds.  He has red hair and freckles and bright blue eyes.  I thought at first he was going to be a difficult interview because he spoke very quietly.  However, Bob liked to talk, tell stories.  I'm going to 'sum up' a lot of his interview because he didn't keep a strict time line and I was so confused after the interview.  I had to listen to the tape and read the transcript several times to get it straight.  I finally figured out a small part of the problem.  Bob had a brain injury.  Here is his story:


Bob was born and raised in a small town in Florida.  He lived on 10 acres with his family and extended family.  At the age of 5 his father died in a car accident. He had been drunk.   "Mom comes up to me and my brother comes up to me and I seen my brother and I went like ‘where’s dad’ and they said sorry son he’s not coming home.  My brother he lost it after that.  The family kind of split apart.  My mom had to raise 4 kids on her own from there.  She never remarried.  She started drinking and went.. she went to work, come home.  She did not go nowhere.  Never went out.  Never tried to have any friends." Bob tells me he raised his younger sibling.  They moved into "town" when he was 16 and that is when he "started to get into trouble".  He says his extended family abandoned them.  "They never called.  They never come over.  We were poor and it just got worse."


Bob eventually got a job and started taking care of his family. He worked hard, made enough money to "pay the bills".  He says, " I had been very independent.  Always had a job. Always had a ride."  


At one point in his life Bob had an accident at work and he broke his hip, and apparently, he became started drinking to 'ease the pain', it was a little unclear.  Years later, he had a horrific car accident.  He and another guy had been drinking. He had an argument with his wife/girlfriend and had lost his job: 
" 2 miles from the house and I hit 3rd gear and there was a curve coming up.  He says watch out man you are going to hit that telephone pole.  I says no I'm not man I'm in the middle of the road.  I got this covered.  He pulled my wheel and when he pulled my wheel I pulled it back...  and I hit the pole.  The pole come down on top of my side of the truck.  Went through my truck to the headrest of my seat.  My head went into the windshield.  I was cut from here all the way to here, I was scalped (from the middle of his nose back).  It almost took my eye out.  It ripped my nose off my face and I lost 4 fingers.  My hand held onto the door.  It kept me in the truck when it rolled but the skin was so mangled they had to cut them off.  We stopped about (10 feet) from about a 1,000 gallon propane tank.  I could have blew up half of (his town).  I am left-handed and now I'm laid up damaged, hurt, mentally, physically, emotionally, and 3 months later my boss gives me my job back knowing I was incapable of doing what I used to do.  So I was trying to learn how to do everything with my right hand, you know just keep your head up and do what you can do and then 2 years later my hand got strong enough so I started depending on it again.  I started working harder and harder and harder because I wanted my own place again.


Bob doesn't like drugs but of course he does admit to drinking.  He is now with a woman who is mentally challenged.  "She is mentally challenged because she starting smoking crack and I do not deal with drugs.  Not like that.  When I met her I picked her up off the streets and I ain't never met someone who was crazy. never.  suicidal."


I couldn't help but think that Bob was an enabler.  He had been taking care of his family his whole life and now he cannot take care of himself.  He considers himself a victim. 


Bob: People that are victims, (Colleen: how do you see yourself as a victim?).  Abuse. child neglect because they would rather drink their beer on friday nights, lock the kids in a room while they are in the living room partying,  play some board games or something. 
 
  *** Was Bob's family the reason for his homelessness?  Did he take on too much and couldn't handle it?  Was the fact that both his parents were alcoholics, his surroundings full of drugs and abuse that caused his downward spiral? Why did his extended family not help out? Or, was Bob's homelessness simply a product of his wrong choices?  More from Bob next post. 

The Homeless Interviews #4

This is part 2 of Al.  As I talked to these people, I wanted to know more about their families. What were their parents like? What was the common thread in all of them? 


Colleen: Is your current situation your fault? Is it societies fault? Someone else?
Al: I believe my situation stems from the disease of addiction for which there is no known cure except for abstinence and meetings and stuff like that.  It is a mental disorder type thing.  Thinking that you can use and not want it again. It is insanity.  I think it has stemmed from that but the reality of it is, by my choice.  It was by my choice.  Nobody forced me to do what I did.  Mom lives nearby.  She lets me bathe there.  She lets me eat there sometimes  I cannot live there because my stepdad, we had issues years ago and he was stealing drugs and fighting with him and stuff like that.  I cannot stay.  You know, I am trying to stay out of jail.  I do not tolerate a whole lot.  My mom never used.  He(the step-dad) used to drink but he dont drink.  he is a very unforgiving person.  He is a person who holds a grudge until the day he dies. 
 

Colleen: Do you see any mental issues in yourself?

Al: Yeah I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and paranoid schizophrenia.  I have been on medication.  I am not at present on medication.  I got a psychiatric in prison the whole time and I was on medication and I seen a psychiatrist every month and counselors all the time, this and that, and I got out.  Before I got out of prison they put me on disability.  They did my application for me for the social security administration and all that and then when I got out I missed my appointment for the doctor and they denied me. So I’ve got to reapply.  I’m supposed to be on medication.  Department of corrections is full of men and women that are drug addicts and alcoholics that suffer from the disease of additiction, you know what I am saying, and they supply their addiction by stealing, prostitution, laundering, I mean whatever.  Whatever you got to do to supply your addition and they do not have the funding anymore to help with counseling and drug rehab and all that now.  I mean you know, the state is going broke and they just do not have money.  They do not have the money for any programs so when you do go to prison or jail you just sit there and you sit there and amongst other felons that try to help you plot on how you are going to do it better the next time to get out of it.  You know what I mean? Instead of working on the issues that are involved, the thinking issues with addiction. 

 

Colleen: What kind of work do you do?

Al: I'm a certified welder.  I got that in prison but I have not been able to find a job here because I do not have an ID.  That’s why I am here.  They are supposed to help me get that.  And then I’ve never been on these buses.  I have to learn to read the bus schedules and I do not have any money for bus passes.  I just feel like I’m stuck you know what I mean?  I’m stuck.  Every day I get up I do not have the proper ID to get a job.  But I still try to get side jobs and odd jobs and whatever I can do.

 

*** I noticed a lot of the people I spoke to felt 'stuck'.  They messed up, or lost a job, or however they came to be homeless and now they don't have any idea what to do. How do you  get an ID if you have no means? How do you travel? If your house burned down how do you get the necessary documents to get a job?  I mean, if I lost my job and my husband lost his job, we'd be homeless in what, 2-3 months?  How many of us have enough savings to pay the bills until we find a job? 

Close family ties or lack thereof was another big common factor as Al mentioned.  More on that next time.