The Homeless Interviews #5

This next interview is with a man I will call Bob.  Bob is a small man, about 5'4", maybe 120 pounds.  He has red hair and freckles and bright blue eyes.  I thought at first he was going to be a difficult interview because he spoke very quietly.  However, Bob liked to talk, tell stories.  I'm going to 'sum up' a lot of his interview because he didn't keep a strict time line and I was so confused after the interview.  I had to listen to the tape and read the transcript several times to get it straight.  I finally figured out a small part of the problem.  Bob had a brain injury.  Here is his story:


Bob was born and raised in a small town in Florida.  He lived on 10 acres with his family and extended family.  At the age of 5 his father died in a car accident. He had been drunk.   "Mom comes up to me and my brother comes up to me and I seen my brother and I went like ‘where’s dad’ and they said sorry son he’s not coming home.  My brother he lost it after that.  The family kind of split apart.  My mom had to raise 4 kids on her own from there.  She never remarried.  She started drinking and went.. she went to work, come home.  She did not go nowhere.  Never went out.  Never tried to have any friends." Bob tells me he raised his younger sibling.  They moved into "town" when he was 16 and that is when he "started to get into trouble".  He says his extended family abandoned them.  "They never called.  They never come over.  We were poor and it just got worse."


Bob eventually got a job and started taking care of his family. He worked hard, made enough money to "pay the bills".  He says, " I had been very independent.  Always had a job. Always had a ride."  


At one point in his life Bob had an accident at work and he broke his hip, and apparently, he became started drinking to 'ease the pain', it was a little unclear.  Years later, he had a horrific car accident.  He and another guy had been drinking. He had an argument with his wife/girlfriend and had lost his job: 
" 2 miles from the house and I hit 3rd gear and there was a curve coming up.  He says watch out man you are going to hit that telephone pole.  I says no I'm not man I'm in the middle of the road.  I got this covered.  He pulled my wheel and when he pulled my wheel I pulled it back...  and I hit the pole.  The pole come down on top of my side of the truck.  Went through my truck to the headrest of my seat.  My head went into the windshield.  I was cut from here all the way to here, I was scalped (from the middle of his nose back).  It almost took my eye out.  It ripped my nose off my face and I lost 4 fingers.  My hand held onto the door.  It kept me in the truck when it rolled but the skin was so mangled they had to cut them off.  We stopped about (10 feet) from about a 1,000 gallon propane tank.  I could have blew up half of (his town).  I am left-handed and now I'm laid up damaged, hurt, mentally, physically, emotionally, and 3 months later my boss gives me my job back knowing I was incapable of doing what I used to do.  So I was trying to learn how to do everything with my right hand, you know just keep your head up and do what you can do and then 2 years later my hand got strong enough so I started depending on it again.  I started working harder and harder and harder because I wanted my own place again.


Bob doesn't like drugs but of course he does admit to drinking.  He is now with a woman who is mentally challenged.  "She is mentally challenged because she starting smoking crack and I do not deal with drugs.  Not like that.  When I met her I picked her up off the streets and I ain't never met someone who was crazy. never.  suicidal."


I couldn't help but think that Bob was an enabler.  He had been taking care of his family his whole life and now he cannot take care of himself.  He considers himself a victim. 


Bob: People that are victims, (Colleen: how do you see yourself as a victim?).  Abuse. child neglect because they would rather drink their beer on friday nights, lock the kids in a room while they are in the living room partying,  play some board games or something. 
 
  *** Was Bob's family the reason for his homelessness?  Did he take on too much and couldn't handle it?  Was the fact that both his parents were alcoholics, his surroundings full of drugs and abuse that caused his downward spiral? Why did his extended family not help out? Or, was Bob's homelessness simply a product of his wrong choices?  More from Bob next post.